Super Ensign

Any Star Trek geek with a uniform that is obligated to serve under your beck and call so that they can bask in their own, bemusing glory of 'serving as an officer.'

A huge suck-up to any figure of authority in the army, Star Trek, or any other Sci-Fi movie with a commanding officer.

Also known as "Wesley Crusher"

You: Aw, shiz, I left my cat outside in the freezin rain.

Super Ensign: I can do that! *jumps out window and into yard, comes back with cat*

You: Thanks, ensign.

Super Ensign: *squee*