Swerving Turd

A trim line on Chrysler, Dodge and Ram vehicles that costs extra to upgrade your steering from being held together by spaghetti, to something more stiff like crucifix wood from the Churches they are constantly going to. It allows others to see how adept they are at trying to keep their Chrysler within two lanes on the highway, and glide them almost without effort into rest areas or the breakdown lane. It also allows Chrysler drivers to use up only two parking spaces instead of the usual three or four when they park at a Trump rally or their job at a hotel sniffing farts out of bedsheets.

Even with her morbid obesity, Irene was able to stay 30mph under the speed limit in the passing lane in her Chrysler as 18 wheelers passed around her, and thanks to the Swerving Turd package, she still could stay on the phone with her church group.