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God's calculator. Most of the questions of the SATs that require solving for variables or solving trigonometric identities can be solved by simply plugging them in to this beast of calculator.
John: "Hey Randall, what did you get on the math section of the SATs?"
Randall: "Oh, just an 800"
John: "800?!?! Didn't you get a 550 last time?"
Randall: "That was before I got my TI-89 Titanium!"
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A high-performance calculator made by Texas Instruments. With a computer algebra system, it can evaluate algebraic expressions symbolically, rather than just giving a number answer; and is therefore much more powerful and difficult to use than the TI-84, the common graphing calculator used by high school and college students alike.
"Hey, Jack, where's your TI-84?"
"OH, I left it in the trash can. Check out this great TI-89 Titanium I just got! I won't even have to know how to do math anymore!"
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An upgraded version of the TI-89 released by Texas Instruments in 2004. Features a new mini-USB port and 2.7 megabytes of flash ROM.
n00b: lol, check out my hip TI-89! I have 6 games on it! I am cool!
1337 h4x0r: stfu n00b, I have a titanium, I have 50 games.
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A device that qualifies colleges for free stuff: By stating that students are required to purchase the TI-89 Titanium on their syllabi, colleges are qualified for free equipment and emulator software from Texas Instruments. (from department minutes)
This device is so remarkable that some students can ace a math class with it, but without it cannot add 1/2 + 1/3.
Dean's secretary: Hey, you didn't put on your syllabus that you require the TI-89 Titanium.
(Dean walks in.)
Instructor: That's right. Doesn't it seem unethical to require students to pay $150 or more for a calculator so the college gets free stuff?
Dean: No, not at all.
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