Two Seconds

The amount of time required to complete a task one has failed to complete, and is being scolded about.

Teacher: Why can't you write your name legibly on your tests? It only takes Two Seconds to write your name.

Boyfriend: Why can't you hurry up and finish? I'm sitting here banging it out, and you can't take Two Seconds to finish?

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two second slider

A crap that takes only a couple of seconds to take; shoots out like a rocket; comes out very smoothly... A SHIT THAT IS UNIQUE BECAUSE WHEN YOUR ASS IS WIPED, THERE IS NO SHIT ON THE TOILET PAPER; A COMPLETELY CLEAN SHIT.

"oh man, i only like taking a shit if its a two second slider- otherwise, i feel dirty when i wipe..."

two second style

Quickly, in a hurry, pronto, hasty, fast, etc.

Relax, just wait, I'll be at your house fucking two second style.

Two Second Dave

When a guy is receiving a hand job (usually a Light Bulb HJ) and he cums within roughly two seconds.

Man, I'm a Jewish girl named Steph, and I gave that guy a Light Bulb HJ last night, and he was definitely a Two Second Dave

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two seconds please

The universally way of knowing that you're fucked. Popularized by celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay.

"Hey you, Two seconds please." - Chef Ramsay

two seconds (bro)

the act one gives when wanting you to chill out either becuase you want to go or him to shut up when he is telling a gay story he wants to keep saying

ramzy, hury the fuck up lets go

two seconds bro

shut the fuck up and get in the car.

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Two seconds thick

Refers to something that is very thin.

Nancy's hair is two seconds thick.