Texas Chet

That guy from your town who has been fired for drinking on the job, somehow still has another job, and thinks wearing a Texas Tuxedo to everything from work to the grocery store to the bar makes him look fashionable. Chet is that guy everyone in town knows and wishes they somehow didn't. His breath smells of Wrigleys Doublemint Gum and Canadian Club. He always speaks of his mythical past in which he was an athlete, a hero, and a ladies man.

Girl At The Bar: OMG who is that guy over there in the denim who won't stop telling me he was a star quarterback in 1966?
Me: Oh that's just Texas Chet.
Girl At The Bar: He wants to buy me a drink.
Me: Let him buy you a couple Busch pounders and let the good times roll. Just walk away if he asks you to check out his Chevy Avalanche.