The Cheeseburger Test

If you can see her butt hole when she stands up, she needs a cheeseburger.

Police officer 1: Excuse me, ma'am, I'm going to need you to wrap this towel around your waste and come with us.
Random THOT: What!, because of my thong!? this is bullshit! Why aren't you harassing any of these other girls!?
Police officer 2: Sorry, ma'am, this beach has a strict 'passes the cheeseburger test' only policy for thongs.
Police officer 1: Here, ma'am (hands her a cheeseburger) I'm going to have to ask you to eat this. It's the law.