The East Honduran Scissor ritual

Potentially the most grotesque sexual activity of all time, first the man (if not previously) circumcises himself and uses the foreskin blood as lube. If ashes are in reach proceed to grab those and rub gently over the female waist. Then grab a matchstick and set her on fire. Use the lazy fireman to put the fire out and then break temporarily. After everything settles you need to give yourself an Indian sunburn on your cock. This redness should translate to heat so when inserted in the vagina it should make the woman unpleasantly moan. Which causes the final ejaculation to take place. Lastly, to clear the scene use traditional methods and use Epsom salts to clean off the burns.

Jen : can you remind me how to do The East Honduran Scissor ritual please?