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Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems, not problems like "What is beauty?" Because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems, for instance: how am I going to stop some mean mother Hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous be-hind? The answer, use a gun, and if that don't work... Use more gun. Take for instance this heavy caliber tripod mounted lil' old number designed by me, built by me, and you best hope... Not pointed at you.
a person you will never forget. dont lose him or you will regret it. His eyes... you will lost you in them because they are so amazing and beautiful. this is also a name of a turkish boy i met times ago. He has a big heart and a beautiful smile. I think i will never forget the way he looked at me. Engin's are often very good in sports and attractiv. He looks good every day with he's cool hair und his great white smile. He is love in person.
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"To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of two categories: (1) things that need to be fixed, and (2) things that will need to be fixed after you've had a few minutes to play with them. Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems. Normal people don't understand this concept; they believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet." - Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle
The engineer was the cause of the system meltdown
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a college student who majors in this can forget about his life, because there will be no more time to do anything besides study, and then drink to forget how fucked you are. Study and drinking, that's about it. Also, engineers are known to have no sleeping pattern because of numerous all-nighters. There should be an amendment to the constitution to add an entire point to any engineering student's GPA, as only then will the scale be fair to everyone.
Business major: what's your major?
Engineering major: engineering.
Business major: (gets a mental image of engineering major stabbing himself with pencils, not sleeping for 36 hours straight, and failing multiple classes. Yet the engineering major is still 4 times smarter than the business major.)
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Suppose you meet a girl in a park. She's riding a bike. Taking off all her clothes she screams 'Take whatever you want'
If you take the bike, you're an engineer.
Yea, the clothes wouldn't have fit you anyway
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A person capable of making things work in unfathomable and near-magical ways. Generally possesses extreme levels of mechanical aptitude plus a formal education including large doses of applied math, physics and chemistry which he actually understands. Can perform calculations without using a calculator. Often builds his own mechanical devices from loose parts for self-amusement. A modern day witch. Often has difficulty relating to people because ideas on new and better ways of doing things are constantly flooding into his/her mind. In many cases just bringing an engineer into a room containing broken equipment causes the equipment to start working again.
One day an engineer found himself at the pearly gates. St. Peter looked him up in the book, and found that he was destined for the other place. The engineer protested that this must be a mistake, and that he had lived a righteous life, going to church every week, being faithful to his wife etc. to no avail. About 6 weeks later God reviews the lists and realizes that the engineer has been sent to the wrong place. So he rings up Lucifer and demands that the engineer be sent up. Lucifer says NO WAY. This guy was the best thing to ever happen here. He's got the AC working, we have running water and cable now too, and next week he thinks we will get internet access and an ice cream machine. God is pissed and yelling says "I'll sue". Lucifer says LOL where are you going to get a lawyer and hangs up.
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