The Precession Controversy

This is my parody of the infamous "Procession Controversy," which split The Church, to two parts, the Catholic, and The Orthodox. This is before a third split, appeared in the 16th Century, when The Protestant Church appeared. Note Orthodox, and Protestants, hate The Catholic Church, which is horrible. Why can't all Christians get along? The Apocryphal Gnostic Acts of John, says Jesus's disciples, danced around Jesus, but doesn't say what direction, whether it was clockwise, or counter-clockwise.

The Precession Controversy, could have split the early Gnostic Church, into two parts, The Clockwise Church, and the Counterclockwise Church. The Clockwise Church, says Jesus's disciples, danced around him, clockwise. The Counter-clockwise Church, says they danced around him, counter-clockwise. They even can be a Simultaneous Church, which says half, danced around Jesus clockwise, while the other, danced around him counter-clockwise.