Rural Dictionary

year 2006, frosh at Oberlin College. My teammate's older brother rolled a blunt laced with Xanax. I did not know what Xanax was at the time. We smoked the blunt, and I got high as monkey nuts. I could barely see straight and start mumbling about anthrax blunts not yet familiar enough with the word Xanax. Long story medium, I stumbled the mile home. I unlocked my door. I lay on my bed. Dizzy as fuck, but not paranoid or anything like that. "Fuck.." I probably said out loud. On my laptop, there was this mixtape by DJ Scoob Do and lil Wayne playing. My son definitely has a tigger one. Don't know if I gave him scooby doo. You know the backpacks that have the animal as the backpack? First saw them in East Palo Alto. Anywayz, I have a yoda one too. But, I digress. So my girlfriend at the time comes in out of nowhere with a prospie high school student who was staying with her. She wanted to wear my scooby do backpack. I was sprawled out on my bed peacefully. "Don't take my scooby do backpack!" I mumble yelled. She took the pack anyways and was out the door. I snapped out of my daze just in time to tiger snatch the backpack of her back. My arm shot into the hallway just in time to save scooby doo. Unfortunately, she feel to the floor and looked rather embarrassed. "I told you not to take my scooby doo backpack." I said. She left; I went to sleep. It was all good. My roommate witnessed it. That was the last time I smoked an anthrax blunt. I date that girl/woman for a while. The end.

"Don't try to gaffle scooby doo whenst I'm off an anthrax blunt."

by Dillard Vance May 17, 2019

139👍 34👎