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Timeshare

See time share time-share.

An elaborate marketing scam designed to make victims purchase property that they don't really need. Typically this scam is used in vacation/resort towns like Williamsburg, Myrtle Beach, Las Vegas, and Orlando. After being lured to the places with offers of "Free Disney Tickets" or "Free Money", victims are made to endure a 90-120 minute sales presentation where they are shown around a series of semi-luxurious condos or apartments, and then persuaded to purchase a property using deceptive and highly-pressurized sales pitches.

After being shown around a fairly nice-looking apartment complex, the Timeshare salesman and the customer return to the main office to finalize the presentation.

Timeshare Rep: So, did you like the Quazi Glam properties?
Customer: Absolutely! The jacuzzi room was a nice touch, and the ocean view is spectacular.
Timeshare Rep: Now, I need to get my double-digit sales quota today, and I'm running terribly short on time, so let's get down to business. You said you are an Engineer, and you probably make like a shitload of money, so how would you like to purchase an apartment for $2,899 a month for 60 months?
Customer: Those apartments don't look like they cost that much!
Timeshare Rep: Aw come on now, work with me. (scribbles on a paper) Using a hooey mathematical formula I made up while showing you around, you can easily get one paid off in like, 14 months.
Customer: The price still does not justify the quality.
Timeshare Rep: Hmmm. How about I reduce the payment to $2,199 for 54 months. You can even invite your friends and relatives to rent it out and reduce your cost.
Customer: Let me think about it later.
Timeshare Rep: Okay. How about $1,799 for 48 months? I'll even throw in free maintenance and free lunches at the on-site bistro for 3 months.
Customer: I still need more time to consider this.
Timeshare Rep: You're breaking my balls here. $1,499 for 42 months, plus all of the benefits, and free heating?
Customer: Alright, fine. I'll buy an apartment.
Timeshare Rep: Great! Now sign on the dotted line before my 100 minute presentation is up (hands over a document).
Customer: (signng the document) Now what if I change my mind and decide to cancel my payment, do I get refunded?
Timeshare Rep: Um.....no. In fact, by signing up, you are now required to pay $2,899 up front, plus a $7,345 utility instalation fee, $13,500 pet-chauffer service, and a $1,766 asteroid-impact insurance fee.
Customer: Fuck.
Timeshare Rep: Thank you for purchasing a Quazi Glam property. Here's a complementary ticket to Jamal's Flea Market. Have a nice day. Sucker.

by sarcastic June 5, 2006

249πŸ‘ 59πŸ‘Ž


Timeshare

A girl who splits her time evenly amongst multiple guys. Typically as a result of an agreement between a pair or group of guys.

(Girl) hangs out with (Guy 1) Monday thru Friday but since she's a timeshare, (Guy 2) has her on the weekends.

by Scooter2424 June 4, 2013

27πŸ‘ 15πŸ‘Ž


pussy timeshare

To have full knowledge of and full agreement with a buddy to share in the sexual promiscuousness of a said female

Yo man, I thought some drama was gonna go down after she hooked up with both our roommates. But they worked it out and now they have a pussy timeshare

by Iron Butterfly 91 October 28, 2011

7πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


ghetto timeshare

the act of buying something and splitting the cost with a friend or group of friends when the cost is under $100, and the group plans to share the item equally

$40 webcam, splitting $20 a piece, alternating possession every week is a ghetto timeshare

by Bob k. garf June 22, 2010

9πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


Timeshare pussy

Hookers

Roommate 1"Ayy who was that girl you brought in last night?"
Roommate 2"Nah it was just a timeshare pussy."

by SwagasaurusFlex October 12, 2017


Timeshare in Miami

Purchasing a timeshare in Miami refers to the commitment of sexual intercourse to a Miami at least 6 times a year, as does a regular timeshare commitment. This is usually a drunken sorry act from a desperate individual in search of releasing his seed only for the sake of pleasure. The Miami soon becomes his timeshare in which the benefactor frequents like one would visit a timeshare. These outings may very in length depending on how much this person over drinks through out the year

"Yo, son daves in a black out again, I think he's on the phone with that miami right now."

by Steve-i Rastafari March 14, 2005

8πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


Timeshare Cat

A cat who’s time you share with your friends. When you only get to keep a cat for x amount of time until their owner comes and takes them back. Most common at universities where a cat gets passed around

Is that your cat?

Nah it’s a timeshare cat, the real owner is out of town

by Bostonrox1992 May 10, 2023