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derived from 'about to shit oneself
Touched cloth means to have almost died.
my brother Ned has overcome colon cancer, he really 'touched cloth'
1) to have a turtle head pop from one's rectum before underpants are removed
2) to break wind with more force than expected, and to cause fecal matter to come in to contact with one's underpants before being able to suck it back in
Oh Dave, that sounded like a wet one...did you touch cloth?
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when the turtle head of ones faeces pretudes to the extent that it touches the cloth which comprises ones underwear. A crude expression with a mighty impact.
-"I am ever so glad i wore baggy boxer shorts today".
-"really egbert why is that".
-well humbert to be quite frank i am touching cloth.
-oh you are desperate to empty your bowels and are finding it hard to keep the turtles head under reigns.
-quite, and now i am afraid the turtles head has broken through my anal gates and is causing one great discomfort.
-i see, well it is lucky you are wearing spacious boxer shorts for if you were wearing y fronts the turtle may have been crushed resulting in a mess in ones pants.
-never mind i am starting to quite enjoy the sensation it is similar to when you insert your penis through my cheeks to the brown.
-oh well i dont know why you are complaining in that case it would be more like a terrapin head as my penis is terribly small due to the inbred nature of my family.
-dont beat yourself up you make up for it with your 11 fingers.
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One usually "touches cloth" when he/she passes gas and pokes out a turtle head while their pants are still on them. Then a peice of poo then touches their underwear leaving a small stain. This is usually uncomfortable to walk around with.
Dude, I floated an air biscuit and touched cloth.
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A saying that is used when someone has waited FAR too long to have a shit. It
verbalises the possible condition that the lead end of a shit has protruded beyond the opening of the anus and has made contact with their undergarment.
I need to find a bathroom right now.. I'm TOUCHING CLOTH
473👍 189👎
When you are struggling to hold in a poo, and its tip has breached the sphincter and is touching your underwear.
Dude, I've gotta get to a toilet quick, I'm touching cloth here!
99👍 35👎
When the prairrie dog pops it head out of the burrow and is almost headbutting the undergarments.The time immediately preceeding the arrival of a brown trout
fuck i'm touching cloth.We'd better find a toilet soon or i'll lay a nest of dogs eggs in my fucking strides
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