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Turnberry Shuffle

When you get to a red light that takes forever to change green forcing you to make a right turn then a u-turn to avoid it. The maneuver was created by a balding, middle-aged man frustrated with living in the Ternberry gated community in an unknown city and state. It has been said that nobody gave a shit about Ternberry, not even the assholes who programmed the traffic light to exit the community and make a left turn.

The maneuver is performed in the following method:

1. Stop at light and wait 5 minutes.
2. Realize you're an idiot for waiting.
3. Turn right out of frustration.
4. Frantically cut across all lanes of travel to the left turn lane.
5. Shuffle the steering wheel all the way to the left.
6. Bust that u-turn like a boss, cutting off some old dumb bitch.
7. Continue about your business.

A successful Turnberry Shuffle is achieved if the asshole stop light doesn't turn red on you after your u-turn defeating your efforts as if the traffic light knew and decided to punish you.

For fucks' sake Sarah, perform the Turnberry Shuffle at this light, it will take for fucking ever for it to change for us!

by Dr.FartScientist December 12, 2018

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