Uncle Fingers

An overly, creepy, work colleague who excels in sinister innuendo and hits on every female member of staff, with younger women being preferred.

Usually balding, and overweight, with unassuming features.

Has an uncanny knack of making even the most thick-skinned employees feel uncomfortable during his presence.

Ted: Have you met Uncle Fingers working in accounts?

Sally: Yeah he hit on me, the other day, in the break room.

Ted: Serious?!

Sally: Yeah! I needed a fucking shower after he'd asked me if I wanted to go with him to the Miley Cyrus concert...

6👍 4👎

Uncle Jimmy Fingers

When your perverted uncle repeatedly attempts to grope and fondle you at a family get together.

Mom will you please tell Uncle Jimmy Fingers to keep his hands out from under my skirt.

10👍 1👎

Uncle Stinky Finger

The act of pooping, dipping tobacco, and beating off... AT THE SAME TIME!!

Everyday I wake up, pull an Uncle Stinky Finger, and then shower and begin my day

10👍 3👎

Uncle Funny-Fingers

A term of endearment given to an uncle who plays too much, tickles you, gives you noogies, or generally bullies you in a fun way.

My Uncle Funny-Fingers is coming over, I hope he doesn’t tickle me until I cry again.

2👍 1👎

Uncle Lucky Finger

Your creepy uncle

Oh girl! Uncle Lucky Finger was over last night, he creeps me out!

1👍 4👎

Uncle Robbie Two Fingered

When Uncle Robbie comes in in the middle of the night and slides in two fingers.

I was sleeping peacefully last night until I got Uncle Robbie Two Fingered.

Uncle Finger

A game your uncle plays with you as a child when you sit on his lap and a mysterious finger enters your butthole but his hands are over your eyes.

"Dude I played Uncle Finger last night and something was totally there, it was so trippy."