Uncle Jemima

Uncle Jemima is a crazy old fool who just wants to make liquor and show that there's more to this world than just making pancakes.

Uncle Jemima's Down Home Mash Liquor

'More fun than Pancakes!'

Uncle Jemima: Let me ask you a question: you like drinking? Well, you like drinking - who the hell don't? Well if you're like me, then you like to get bit just as fast as possible. That's why I'm proud to introduce to you...Uncle Jemima's Pure Mash Liquor. I'm Uncle Jemima! You probably know my wife, Aunt Jemima, the pancake lady! Now she says that selling booze is degrading to our people. I always say that black folk ain't exactly swellin' up with pride on the count of you flippin' flapjack. Ain't I right Sammy?

Sammy: Listen don't get me in this mess.

Then she say "why booze?" I say "Sell what you know, and I know about booze!" Uncle Jemima's Pure Mash Liquor has a 95% alcohol content - and that's per volume!

What the hell does that mean?

That means you get f***ed up for less money! Hook a brother up! Buy some of my pure mash liquor and let's show that old bitch that there's more to this world than just making pancake!

Aunt Jemima: Pancakes is ready!

Uncle Jemima: Oh you shut up woman! You're not gonna ruin this for me!

Sammy: What you swattin' at?

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Uncle Jemima

When two gay dudes lube up their assholes and place them together to form an airtight seal and then one passes gas. It pushes the gas into the other gay dude and makes his stink star expand and pop a bit, thus giving pleasure.

Hey Thad, rub that maple syrup on my pucker and then back over here with your pants down. I had burritos for lunch and I want to give you an uncle jemima. (also known as the gay shotgun)

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