wanking claw

Deformed hand used primarily for wanking. Can be used in many jokes.

Damian: What is happening over there
Thomas Kiely: Nothing, im just itchy
Everyone: No, He's masterbating
Louis: Wanking Claw!

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Wanking Claw

A deformed hand, caused by a near endless amount of masturbation. All that wanking causes the subjects hand to shape into a claw-like entity that forms perfectly around penis shaped objects.

John: Eh Wayne, you holdin' an invisible water bottle?
Wayne: Nay John, thats my wanking claw.
John: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Thats knarly gross!
Wayne: Aye, I was up till 8 this morning tryin to pitch one off.
John: Yikes.... well from the looks of that claw you've got one awful small wee-wee.
Wayne: (sighs)Aye... well I'm off to the loo.
John: To do what?
Wayne: (holding claw) What do you think?

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