Whale Status

Anyone woman that you know is well over 300 pounds just by first glance.

A woman that is so fat that you are willing to pay to get one of your friends to sleep with her.

"hey bill did you see mike's new girlfriend, that fat bitch is on whale status!"

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Beached Whale Status

The moment in which you now no longer resemble a human being but look more like a beached whale ready to take its eternal rest. protocal requires you to update you facebook status to read "beached whale status", but chances are your not gonna get it up there.

**You are now at the point of no return, you will not move for the rest of the night unless there is an emergency**

idiot: yo hand me my phone

You: dude i cant im beached whale status right now

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