Whalen Wax

Only for use with women who have abundant upper lip facial hair. After vigorous fellatio, pull out of the woman's mouth, deposit a "Got Milk?"-style mustache of semen from edge to edge of the mustache, and allow to dry. Once dry, and presumably, while still restraining said mustachioed female from cleaning her face off, violently rip the hair and encrusted love sauce from her upper lip, leaving skin as soft as a baby's bottom.

Waxer: "Dude, chick showed up last night with more facial hair than Tom Selleck. After dinner and drinks, I brought her back to the shag pad and treated her to a Whalen Wax. She says she's never paying salon prices again!"

Buddy: "Nice."

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