What in God's green African jungles??

Another way of asking the infamous question, "what on earth?" while recognizing the almighty God's diverse and most eccentric creation, Africa/Africans.

*arrives home early from vacation and find doors off hinges, roughed-up walls, and a trusted friend wearing my clothes.*

"What in God's green African jungles?? ... ???" =:O

"Er, I can explain..."

"Please do."