What the Dickens?

Dickens is a euphemism for "devil". From Shakespeare's "Merry Wives of Windsor",(Act III, Scene II).
"I cannot tell what the dickens his name is".

(NOT from Charles Dickens.)

What the Dickens?

What the Dickens were you thinking?

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What the Dickens?

Similar in meaning to what the heck, what the hell, etc. Is most commonly used in a a state of puzzlement and awe.

What the Dickens? I could have sworn that the rickshaw was on fire when I left the the East Indian Trading Company!

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What the Dickens?

An exclamation, in a similar vein to "What the hell?". Derives from popular dead author and dead street fighter Charles Dickens.

Person 1: "While you were out I broke into your house and shat in your oven."

Person 2: "What the Dickens?!"

Person 1: "Ol.."

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What the Dickens?

Colloquial Phrase

Meaning to question the situation someone might find themselves involved with.

Transexual interpretation:

Manchester trans hangout "Dickenses" 70z and 80z.

"Upon the approach of two gentlemen dressed as ladies I immediately exclaimed to the fellow next to me, WHAT THE DICKENS? before replacing my napkin upon my knee."