Whidbey Island

the longest island in the continental united states.

it seems to get worse as you head farther north. the southend consists of langley, clinton and freeland. south whidbey is known as hippie land and is the best part of whidbey. Central Whidbey consists of coupeville and greenbank. coupeville is a farming hick town also known as poopville because it always smells so horribly of cow dung. the most northern end is oak harbor. this is easliy the worst part of Whidbey Island. as you drive in from the south, the forst thing you see is a giant Burger King sign. and the fast food restrants keep on coming along with walmarts and lots and lots of teen stoners, skipping school to go smoke weed behind the Wendys. Oak Harbour is a wanna be city but it will never get there.

overall there isnt much of anything to do on Whidbey Island. there ar a few good things like string man at chochokum but overall life on whidbey is pretty dull. its over run with tourists in the summer who are too excited about riding the ferry boat (note: locals never wonder upstairs on the ferry in the summer for fear of tourists yelling about the seagulls and wanting you to take their picture). the view is nice but after you get over that, whidbey is pretty lame.

tourist: (on ferry) ohh my god a seagull!! take a picture, take a picture, this is a once in a life time chance!!!

local: relax, its whidbey island, thats all we do is relax, its island time, baby. there are seagulls everywhere, it nothing special

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Whidbey Island whales

Morbidly obese (i.e. overweight, fat, tubby, huge, and occasionally "big-boned") Women in the Oak Harbor/Island County of Whidbey Island, Washington. These creatures are of the pachyderm family, are mammals, and are the largest land animals alive today. Their habitat includes country bars, cheap nightclubs, and many of the fast food locations across the northwestern state of Washinton and southern Canada. W.I.W's are omnivores, spending 16 hours a day collecting junk food, beer, and large supply of Man-Beef. Their diet is at least 50% Hotdogs, supplemented with grease, burgers, fries, chips, candy, and small amounts of fruit juice, lean cuisine and diet coke. Scientists belive that because they only digest 40% of what they eat, they have to make up for their digestive system's lack of efficiency in volume. An adult W.I.W can consume 300–600 lb (140–270 kg) of food a day. 60% of that food leaves their body undigested, which is why they smell funny. They also give fantastic blowjobs.

Steve Irwin: CRIKEY! Do you see thaht? What you ar now lookin' at is one of the many Innnnfamous Whidbey Island Whales! We got to be veeery careful as not to disturb hher in hher hhabitat. Lets go in for a closer look! Goregeous!

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