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she has the finest ass this side of the mississippi
"Dude, will's mom has a sweet ass! I'd tap it." says Mike
49👍 18👎
A godly level roast that will leave the person dead.
Jimmy: I was eating your mom!
Bob: Well I was eating your mom’s mom!
Jimmy: Well I ate your mom, your mom’s mom, and your mom’s mom’s mom!
Bob: Your mom’s mom’s mom’s mom.
Jimmy: *freaking disintegrates*
23👍 6👎
Someone who can make your missing things appear
Me: Mom! Where’s my phone?
Mom: I don’t know, have you checked the kitchen table?
Me: Of course I did!
*mom walks into the kitchen and comes out with a phone*
Mom: Then what’s this?
1375👍 46👎
Betting something to be so true that you would put your mom on the line to prove.
On moms, I saw her cheating with that guy from central.
On moms, though?
53👍 1👎
The one person who knows where all of your stuff is.
-Hey, where's my sweater?
--I don't know, go ask mom.
1591👍 114👎
A woman that does a lot for her family, works everyday with a monthly day off (sometimes), takes care of her children, even takes care of her husband. She will do anything for her family, she will even word 2 maybe 3 or more jobs if she has to. She even usually buys you things that you want even if you don’t deserve or need them. Her love is unconditional even when she is mad at you she still loves you and you should never forget that. Never take your mother for granted because one day she’s gonna be gone and your never going to know when. It could be tomorrow, in a couple of days, in a couple of weeks, years, it could even be today. The point is your mother loves you and you should love and appreciate her to because she could be gone any day. She might already be gonna and I am sorry if that is the case but just know she is still with you in your heart and memories and she is watching you from heaven and she still loves you even if she is or isn’t here. So please if your reading this it will only take a couple of minutes to stop what your doing and go tell your mom that you love her, text her, or call her and tell her.
I Love You Mom.
2387👍 231👎
A crazy loon who loves you so much, yet she she drives you insane! She cares for you, but embarrases you in front of all your friends and makes you want to scream and cry. She is someone you want to throw out the window ever so often, but is someone you truly can't live without.
Mom: HOW DARE YOU GET AN A INSTEAD OF AN A+!!
Me: Ok, I'm sorry...
Me: *Breathes*
Mom: WATCH UR TONE LITTLE LADY! WHERE DID U LEARN THAT? FROM UR FRIENDS???
993👍 133👎