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A protist
Look at that protist over there, he must be will schwartz
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An American unit of linear measure equal to 7.5 inches. Also commonly referred to as "two hands".
Mike has a full schwartz, where as Tom and Frank only have half.
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The Schwartz is a greater magic. It binds everything in the universe together. It can be channeled through rings found in Cracker Jack boxes. The Schwartz can be used to move things with one's mind and the rings can be used to channel energy blades. Contrary to popular belief, these blades are not, in fact, "penis-powered" The Schwartz is kept by the everlasting know-it-all, Yogurt, in his home on the moon of vega.
Yogurt: I am the keeper of a greater magic, known throughout the universe as....
Barf: The Force?
Yogurt: No, the Schwartz
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V. 2008
The act of one-upping the person to whom you are speaking by continually interrupting them to tell a pointless story about how someone you know is and or has something better than they do.
So last week I was walking down the street and a Ferrari passed me...
Dude I know this one guy at home that has 3 Ferrari's and I heard that he drives them all the time
Fuck. Stop Schwartzing me.
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A german word meaning "black", but was incorporated into American Jewish slang to be a derogatory term towards black people.
If you are black and someone uses the word "schwartze" in their conversation in your general direction, chances are he shooting racial slurs at you.
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The Schwartz is the greater magic, a power that ties all living things. It originated in the Mel Brooks movie Spaceballs, a Star Wars/Star Trek spoof film. It is a direct replica of The Force, only with the name changed for copyright reasons. The keeper of The Schwartz is a short man living on a desert planet named Yogurt. The Schwartz swords are mearly generated in the position for comedic purposes and are not "penis powered".
HELMET: Yogurt. Yogurt. I hate Yogurt. Even with strawberries.
SANDURZ: I'll call the attack squad, sir.
HELMET: No, we can't go in there. Yogurt has the Schwartz. It's far too powerful.
SANDURZ: But, sir, your ring. Don't you have the Schwartz, too?
HELMET: No, he got the up-side. I got the down-side. You see, there's two kinds of every Schwartz.
LONE STARR: But you're the one...
YOGURT: Yes. I am the keeper of a greater magic. A power known throughout the universe, known as...
BARF: The force?
YOGURT: No. The Schwartz.
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to have courted a female that a friend is currently courting.
That bastard Jimmy schwartzed Jenna from me.
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