William Santamaria

A William Santamaria is typically a tall (6’3, at the least), handsome, has beautiful, sharp defined features and flowing black locks. He is likely Columbian, which means he has big feet, among other things. He may appear, on the outside, to be a beer, rollin and football God, but if you get to know him, he’s so much more. He likely has hidden talents, usually of artistic nature, and is a slug lord. Yes, slugs as in shelll-less snails will flock to his feet. If you tame a wild William, he will love you until you break his heart . But adopting such a wild beast comes with percussions. Firstly, his mood swings are has big as his feet. He can become easily enraged. For example, he may punch a hole in his wall if he runs out of socks. Just be patient, for soon he will return to his angle state. On the other hand, his behavior sometimes will resemble that of a little boy. If you fit his needs, having a pet William can be very rewarding.

Care guide:
- provide Wendy’s baconators on a regular basis

- share his enthusiasm of hellcats
- give him lots of reassurance of your love for him
- protect him from the gaze of other females, particularly MILFs. If he is kindly buying you ice cream, there is a good chance that the cashier is eyeing him down. Show obnoxious expressions of PDA to reinforce your claim over your prized pet.

“Woah, who’s that tall hottie. Do you think I have a chance with him?” girl 1

“Oh, that’s William Santamaria. He’d probably accidentally step on you if you got too close. And no, no you don’t have a chance with him. His girl’s fire.” - girl 2