Wine Mom

A middle-aged female (usually a mother) who enjoys drinking a refined, complex red or white wine most likely bought from Whole Foods with her other middle-aged female friends while exchanging neighborhood gossip. Common topics during this odd ritual include but are not limited to: annoying children, idiotic husbands, fundraisers for an elementary or middle school, that one neighbor who enjoys starting drama, and other neighbors who choose not to maintain their lawn. Wine mothers also tend to post their gatherings on Facebook.

Brenda: Sharon, would you like to join us this evening? We're drinking your favorite!
Sharon: Of course! You know, Martin won't be home tonight, but the kids will be fine.
Brenda: Oh Sharon, you are such little spit-fire! I admire your courage and spontaneous attitude.
Brenda's emo daughter: Ugh, you guys are such wine moms.

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Wine Mom

A Karen, but with Alcohol.

Likes to think her alcoholism makes her funny or quirky, but in truth is a shallow attempt to disguise the fact that they have no personality beyond insipid gossip and booze.

Oh god, another freakin' Wine Mom. She's gonna spill her cheap hooch everywhere talking about how great 50 shades of grey was before passing out in the bathroom like the last ones did.

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Wine Mom

Women who are in the older crowd(Usually mothers) that sip wine throughout the night, and sometimes post on social media about it. Their posts are abnormally sincere, with comments made by fellow wine moms, relatives, or other parents. The main focus of a wine mom is to stay classy, share intriguing quotes(Usually decorated with graphics dating back in 2004), and to be the embodiment of Linda Belcher. The opposite of a Vodka Aunt.

Wine Moms on Facebook:
"Darling, size does matter... when it comes to your wine glass, LOL."
"Oh Linda, you're such a wild card!!! say hi to Bob and the kids for me!"
"LINDA,,, THIS IS GRANDMA GLORIA,,,, I'M TRYING TO SEND A FAX, CALL ME ASAP,,,"

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Wine mom

Quite simply Karen Wine O'clock comes home from work after being unable to 'speak to the manager'regarding the unbalanced composition of salad leaves found in her takeaway lunch salad box from Pret à Manger and attempts to drown her self-absorbed sorrows in a bottle of cheap quality but moderately priced plonk from her nearest branch of Waitrose whilst whining down the phone to other wine mom's whilst 'putting the world to rights' from their narrow minded middle class limited world perspective.

'There's a customer called Karen who wants to make a complaint boss'....'ok tell I'm coming...no, on second thoughts tell her to piss off and drown her self-entitled short-comings into bottle of Echo Falls...fucking wine moms'

Wine mom

Wine moms are like those fun drunk girls you always meet at parties, except now they're all grown up! They know how to have fun and won't let age get in their way of some drunken moments. They are the definition of extra and they're definitely those ladies at the block party getting drunk off of too much pink wine

"hey ladies, I brought the white Zinfandel to the play date!"

"Tina it's only 11 o'clock! This is too funny, we are so bad. Go wine moms amirite"

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Wine moms

Wine moms think they know everything about politics and racial issues despite being whiter than mayo

fuck off wine moms

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wine mom

probably some hot ass model

wine mom retweeted my tweet yesterday. then she deleted it.

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