wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which

You can take all of your wishes and wants, dreams, desires, and prayers, and put them all together....they still do not amount to shit.

Dad, I want a pony! Well, you can wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which one fills up faster.

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Wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which hand the German guy eats out of.

A reply given to someone who wishes for something because a part of their life is unfair, basically stating that life is full of good and bad things. In essence, wishes mean nothing.

This is the earliest version of the saying, with the reference to Germans eating shit coming from American soldiers in WWII.

You know what they say Ted: Wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which hand the German guy eats out of.

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