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Zionsville's a small but wealthy town of 12,000-ish people in Indiana, a few minutes northeast of Indianapolis. We're one of the nicest towns in Indiana (though that's not really saying all that much), as well as one of the richest, with an average income of $84,000, and house price of $430,000, both way over national average. Hell, we even have a fucking Bentley dealership here.
Despite how rich people are in Zionsville, we aren't snobby or anything (cough, Carmel). It's actually really cool how people are here. When you meet someone from Zionsville, it's hard to tell how wealthy they are until you go over to their house or see their cars because they're so humble and nice. Like, both my parents are teachers, but I'm friends with doctors' kids, lawyers' kids, and CEOs' kids. Anyone can be anyone's friend here.
Most people in Zionsville are the old-money families, who've been living here for generations. They've gone to college, worked their asses off for what they've got, and pass along those virtues to their kids.
Now, yes, I know, I've been talking a lot about money. Off that subject; the people in Zionsville. The High School, besides being one of the top academic schools in the nation, is also the whitest. Out of 1800 kids, I bet like 10 are black, 50 are Asian, and we don't really have anything else here. Seriously, 98% of our town is white (NOT AN EXAGGERATION, WIKIPEDIA IT).
In short, Zionsville's a really nice place, and given the choice, I'd still live here.
Chris: Dude, I'm moving.
Will: What the fuck? Where?
Chris: Some suburb called Zionsville, Indiana.
Will: Oh, dude, I've heard of that place, it's like the whitest fucking place in the world. Like, even Russia's more diverse than Zionsville.
Chris: Yeah, dude, but it's all good, I've heard everyone's cool there, so it's not so bad.
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Without a doubt, Zionsville is the most uninteresting place on the face of this earth. Whoever started Zionsville up should be slapped in the face twice and thrown down a flight of stares. Really, the most interesting thing that's even REMOTELY close to it is the Indy 500, and nobody even gives a shit about racing. Otherwise, it's corn, corn, old white people, suburbs, and corn.
But don't get me wrong now. I spent several years in Indiana and I made friends that are like brothers to me. I think the people are really nice there, and everything is fairly modern.
Sorry, but you can't deny it. If you can name me ONE interesting thing Zionsville has to offer it's citizens, I will personally walk up to your door and hand you a 1000 dollar check.
Guy#1: Hey man, a passed by Zionsville on the way to Chicago. Ever heard of it?
Guy#2: Heard of what?
Well there you have it. Zionsville, Indiana. I can guarantee you 99.9% of the world's population have never heard of it.
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Noun.
A small utopia located North West of Indianapolis. it is a bubble of old money, fancy cars, Lacrosse moms, Labradoodles, and the most passive-aggresive people you will ever encounter. It is pretty much the whitest place ever.
Religion: Catholicism, Presbyterian, Lacrosse, Soccer, and Judaism (like .2%).
Crime: Rare. Legit said in police report "called police on neighbors for being "mean""
Student Extracurriculars: heavy drug-use- weed, meth, cocaine, drinking, cheating on tests, going to places other than Zionsville, sports- football (it's awful), track, swimming, and LACROSSE
Zionsville, Indiana is so freakin' white.
Thanks to Zionsville, Indiana, I didn't realize until college that some people aren't passive-aggressive.
If Zionsville, Indiana likes to think it is better than Carmel, how come we copy their snow days & roundabouts?
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