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A 96

A person who isn't perfect (a 100), but is pretty damn close.

Person: dude, check her out.
Other Person: dude, you've got a girlfriend.
Person: yeah but I'm just looking.
Other Person: dude your girlfriend is a 96, why bother even just looking at anyone else?

by HKA January 15, 2014

9πŸ‘ 9πŸ‘Ž


96

96 - noun

1. A SFW sexual position.

-Similar to 69, however 96 involves no actual sexual action. The bottom partner, or the β€œ9,” (usually the taller partner) lays face down on the mattress, while the top partner, or the β€œ6,” (usually the shorter of the two) lays on top of the β€œ9”, resting their feet of the upper back of β€œ9” and resting their head on their calves or heels. Once in position, both partners now drift off into state of contemplation. Popular topics include but are not limited to; β€œAre we alone in the universe?”, β€œWhat is the human condition?” and β€œIs there a god?” Among others. Some also try to converse, but seeing as the bottom partner is being slightly smothered, they aren’t doing much talking. Some couples do the 96 fully clothed, on the opposite end of the spectrum some do it fully naked, however, most prefer to do the 96 in their underwear, as to keep it intimate, but not sexual.

β€œHey honey, I want to try something else tonight, mix it up.”

β€œDo you feel like having an existential crisis?”

β€œSure! But how do we do that?”

β€œWe do the 96.”

...

β€œ...but do you think it’s because they don’t want to contact us, or because they simply haven’t achieved a level of technology that high?”

β€œMmmrrph. Hmm mmhhh.”

β€œMe too.”

by Sefrius January 15, 2020

189πŸ‘ 42πŸ‘Ž


96

Its like a 69 but the couple is mad at each other.

Jannis and Douglas were in a 96 last night, could have been because Douglas accidentally ran over the cat with the lawnmower.

by TKinfinity July 17, 2019

53πŸ‘ 15πŸ‘Ž


96

69 but backwards instead of giving each other oral pleasure u fart on each others heads.

Yo man that bitch 96'ed me so hard she left skid marks.

by SickFuck February 14, 2003

1664πŸ‘ 656πŸ‘Ž


96

Variation of 69;

Lay back-to-back with your heads at opposite ends of the bed and masturbate.

"Doing a 96 i have more control than doing 69 :D"

by y00m0mma February 7, 2007

466πŸ‘ 237πŸ‘Ž


96

69 for the sexually dyslexic.

Jane and Jack are dyslexic, so they have 96 instead of 69.

by twiggy16 July 11, 2008

462πŸ‘ 255πŸ‘Ž


96

when two lovers pleasure each other's Sphinchters instead of their genitalia.

hey Laura, let's do the 96 tonight instead of 69 ok?

by sphincter sargent May 31, 2015

86πŸ‘ 41πŸ‘Ž