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A fart comes before the storm

A phrase dating back to ancient times and used by many cultures, meaning that one often releases a fart before pooping. Most frequently used as a warning to young children who still sometimes poop in their pants.

Ancient Mayan child: *farts*
Ancient Mayan father: “Son, heed this papyrus. It was left by our ancestors to warn us that a fart comes before the storm. You must seek a toilet before it is too late.”
Ancient Mayan child: *doesn’t listen; shits his pants*

Pilgrim child: *farts*
Pilgrim mother: “As the good lord has taught us, child, a fart comes before the storm. You must seek out a toilet before you soil your pantaloons.”
Pilgrim child: *doesn’t listen; shits his pants*

Modern child: *farts*
Modern father: “Seek out and sit upon thy toilet, young one, lest ye fill your britches with turd of brown. For as the Bard once wrote, a fart cometh before thy storm.”
Modern mother: “You’re gonna make him weird if you keep talking to him like that.”
Modern child: *exits the room to find a toilet* “Just kidding!” *doesn’t listen; shits his pants*

by CountOlaf69 July 14, 2024