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kid:mom I had algebra today
mom: WTF, WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE SON!
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An evil form of magic that only the best of sorcerers can master. Not only does it involve numbers, but letters (mostly x and y). They somehow rearrange themselves into supposedly simpler forms of themselves. I don't know how because I have not mastered the dark magic of algebra yet, nor do I intend to. Teachers try to teach you formulas to learn the magic, but half the time it would only take a true sorcerer to know what's going on.
Teacher: Today in algebra, we will be learning about simplifying fractions. Simplify the following problem:
10x/3x2 + 4/x-1 + 5/6x
Me: *Head explodes trying to comprehend the magic involved*
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An evil organization whose business philosophy is the following:
To collect questions of ordinary people and distribute them to every educational institution in the world, so that students of any intellect level can try to solve them for the lazy fucks who can't solve their own fucking problems.
Algebra question: Catarina and Tom want to buy a rug for a room that is 14 by 20 feet. They want to leave an even strip of flooring uncovered around the edges of the room. How wide a strip will they have if they buy a rug with an area of 216 square feet?
Student Answer: Why the fuck should I solve a problem for Catarina and Tom!? What the fuck have they ever done for me!?! I don't give a shit about their rug dilemma!!! Lazy fuckers!
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evil noun - An ancient Middle Eastern torture method used today by Al-Queida to torture captured US soldiers to death.
A standard torture session should proceed like this:
After hours of trying to figure out why the square root of six equals the product of 2178#$^#21#@*(3.3824, the terrorists unleash a barrage of "simple algebraic equations" to destroy their mind and then beat them with a bag filled with Algebra books. After that, they stab them with a spike dipped in variable poison and shoot them in the dick. It pretty much sucks balls.
P1 - "Dude my math teachers a terrorist."
P2 - "Whatever."
P1 - "No, seriousely, he made us do Algebra!"
P2 - "Holy shit man, call the National Guard!"
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(Noun) - One of the biggest reasons that high schoolers these days flunk out. It is the largest waste of time, and is also the reason that the United States of America has such a low average GPA, and such a high drop-out rate. It will never be applied to REAL LIFE (something strange to high school teachers) unless you plan to be a scientist, or mathematician (see crazy fuck.) According to your Algebra teacher, you will not survive in life without it. This is pure bullshit, and is only meant to scare you into passing. If you're a writer...you've got to take algebra. If you're an artist...you've got to take algebra. If you're a musician...you've still got to take algebra. If you're a mathematician...my hat off to you.
1. Dave: Hey breh! Wanna go to the movies?
Chris: No...I can't...I flunked algebra, therefore by teacher logic I'm never going to be successful in the modern world.
2. See useless.
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1. an exotic form of torture. see also geometry.
2. the art of figuring what "y" equals when "x" equals 10 through confusing formulas such ast y=12x^2-563x+1/4
3. a method of making high school math teachers feel important.
1. I was a naughty boy, so i had to take algebra.
2. i wanted to figure what y was when y equaled 2 to the third, i think.
3. my math teacher has no talent in anything
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Another word for torture. It’s basically a pointless class where the teacher expects you to know everything prior to taking the class and takes much pleasure in making the students miserable. You learn stupid shit like graphing an equation on a Y and X axis which does not really make too much sense. Some problems require you to find up to eight different answers and it’s one of those time consuming classes where you get homework every day. You pretty much will never need Algebra unless you just love Math and plan on becoming a Mathematician or a Math teacher.
Mr. Smith, an algebra teacher, arrived at the last stack of tests. He looks over the students’ answers and chuckles to himself and as he says “This guy is a fucking idiot. Guess who’s getting an F? You are! Haha this is so much fun. Have fun in summer school.”
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