ass patrol

when the local police squad spends more time looking for women than actual criminals.

Chelsea: "I can't believe it, I got pulled over the other day outside of the Kirk Hotel"
Pete Dick: "Woa, what did you do?"
Chelsea: "I was driving 55 in a 30 with no license plates, oh and I was driving down the wrong side of the street with no lights on and it was night time, think I blew past a couple stop signs and had "Fuck the Police" on the radio."
Pete Dick: "You must have gotten at least five tickets."
Chelsea: "Not a single one, I am so lucky!"
Pete Dick: "Lucky??? That cop was obviously just on ass patrol."
Chelsea: "You think?"
Pete Dick: "Yes, he was jacking for beats"
Chelsea: "Wow"

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ass hole patrol

a derogative name for the police.

The ass hole patrol stoped me for speeding last night while I was taking my mother to the hospital after she had a heart attack.

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