Ass skating

When you attempt to ice skate, but have no sense of balance or coordination, and constantly fall on your ass.

Girl 1: How was the rink?

Girl 2: Awful. I thought it would be easy, but I was ass skating the whole time.

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Eat Fast and Skate Ass

Similar to the phrase “Eat ass and Skate fast” however refers to an overweight individual who can not skate very well due to the fact that they eat so much so quickly.

Jim: wanna go eat ass and skate fast later bro?
Terry: sorry man, I can only Eat Fast and Skate Ass. Go ask Dylan