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A sexual act where a man goes straight from wiping his ass to masturbating
I was so horny while I was taking a shit once, I couldn't wait so I just did ass to hand.
1👍 4👎
the distance from between your ass and hand while wiping.
usually in the form of TP (toilet paper)
depending on your comfort level it can be any where from 1 to 16 sheets.
it may also depend on how stinky the dump was.
my ass to hand distance is about 6 sheets, i dont like to have my hand smell like ass
Joe's ass to hand distance is a disturbing 2 sheets. it makes me shutter to think how he can deal with the closness of his hand to his ass
38👍 21👎
When a man scratches his ass then his balls and puts his hand on a womans face.
I just ass ball handed your mom!
when someone gets completely smoked or destroyed, you say they got their asses handed to them.
The Ottawa Senators got their asses handed to them 9-0.
173👍 28👎
1. Sticking one's hand in their ass and then shaking the hand of someone that they don't like because they are an ass.
2. After wiping your ass after going to the bathroom, you gerealized that your fingers broke thru the toilet paper
1. Awwww... I don't like this guy, I think I'll give him an ass hand!
2. Awwww... damn toilet paper was too thin... now I have ass hand!
35👍 19👎
The act (or art) of rubbing one's hand in one's asscrack for approx. 5 minutes, then using that same hand to shake hands with someone.
As a result, the person's hand will smell like ass for at least a week, and his/her friends and family will wonder if they know how to properly wipe themselves.
First seen in the movie Mallrats.
"Would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?"
9👍 8👎
1) someone who shoots shit from their hand
2) someone that sits on their hands
3) When someone challenges a far superior force and loses without a single high point. The superior force will act as if it is business as usual, and will not gloat about their victory.
The fucktard in the corvette got his ass handed to him by a mini-cooper when he dared drive his yank tank on tighter european roads.
29👍 60👎