bare-handed double play

a regrettable phenomenon, most typically occurring on a diaper table, wherein an undiapered baby "drops a deuce" then encores with a "golden shower", as (s)he is being adjusted to fit into the clean diaper. As the definition implies, the resultant fluids thoroughly coat the adult's hands, typically through a disgusting direct hit. Silently enduring this or laughing aloud is a sure evidence of evolutionary fitness; why else would one tolerate a little person relieving him/herself directing onto one's hands?

While "turning a bare-handed double play" is among the most vaunted and skillful of infielders' defensive plays, it is among the lowest of indignities on the diaper table. Though it does also require quick thinking and defensive maneuvers to keep fluids off clothes and clean diapers and changing pads, any such heroics are outweighed by the hilarious, disgusting and deflating fact of hands covered in baby urine and poop.

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