Rural Dictionary

barney

A man in a purple dinosaur suit who hangs out behind a little kid's school. Always talks with the kids and sings songs with them--as long as the teachers aren't around. Magically dissapears and turns into a small, doll version of himself whenever an adult--especially a policeman--approaches him. Probably was horny as kid, and god knows what he does to those poor children when his/her friends aren't around.

Barney teaches children just how fun life can be.

by Davey June 6, 2004

2198👍 557👎

barney

If you have (or know) kids, you know what I mean.
You hear them in the store whining and pleading to their parents to purchase the latest stuffed Barney toy.
If asked, a child might say he/she loves Barney more than his/her parents.
Why? Because Barney never gets mad, nothing bad ever happens to Barney, yet Dad just got passed over for a promotion and Mom just lost her job.
Barney sugar-coats and presents a false view of reality.
Singing a happy song and forgetting the problem is Barney's way of dealing with difficult situations.
Children will not be able to handle them on their own.
The lasting effects of the show might last well into the teenage years.
When they realize that life isn't really what Barney told them it was like,
who knows what will happen?
Barney also becomes a member of the family often times replacing a parent.
On the show, the kids all do what Barney tells them to in perfect conformity without a hint of individual personality.

There is also no clear distinction between reality and what's supposed to be in the kid's imagination.
Only in the theme song is it mentioned that Barney is an imaginary character.
Most of the show has an appearance of being real.
At the "target" age, the kids won't know the difference.
In some of the scenes, it's pretty obvious because something will appear out of thin air, or Barney will do a super-fast costume change.
Many of the scenes which show children interacting with Barney, and Barney solving the problems with a song aren't so obvious.
Be careful not to underestimate what your child is taking in.
As young children age, their brains become more developed different areas of the brain develop at different rates.
This means that a child may understand what he/she's seeing on the screen, but may not be able to communicate it with you.

Now, have you ever watched the show?
Do you just plop your kids in front of the TV and leave them there?
Too many parents just leave their kids watching Barney unattended.
This is bad. This is very bad.
If a parent does this, they have no idea what messages a show is teaching their kids.
Some parents also use Barney as a pacifier.
This is one of the worst things any parent can do to their child. Just as a small child becomes dependent on their plastic soother for comfort, they can become dependent on Barney, the biggest pre-school money making machine of the nineties.
(Remember that the only reason Barney and Friends is aired is to make money.
It isn't being run by a non-profit group, some people are getting very rich from Barney)

Have you witnessed first-hand the impressions the show is making on your child?
I suggest you watch the show and see for yourself what messages are being shown.

This may not be a definition, but rather an advise and the thruth of Barney (IOW, it IS a definition.

by realass dude November 16, 2004

2170👍 670👎

barney

A small-town, provincial putz of a policeman. The name represents "Barney Fife", the bumbling, inept deputy sherfiff from the "Andy Griffith Show." The typical small-town Barney is a doughnut-chomping fat bastard whose only purpose is to write as many speeding tickets and seat belt "safety" violations to out-of-town licence plated cars as humanly possible. This daily pattern continues until the barney has padded his resume sufficiently to move on to a real job far from the provincial putzville which was his first job for a couple of years. The outrageous pattern of excessive ticket-writing also works in the favor of the inbred, corrupt, fuck-headed town officials who reap an obscene profit from the fine largesse. This, in turn, self justifies the continuance of the salary for the Barney. This pattern is particularly effective in towns which are so ridiculously quiet and small that an actual "law enforcement officer" has no substantive reason to be on the public payroll. The next time you are pulled over in some backward Hooterville for driving 4 MPH over the posted limit, remember where your fine money is going.

Damn, Frank was only going 27 in the 25 zone but the Barney pulled him over anyway!

by Frank Klaune April 25, 2005

94👍 44👎