bed chocolate

A suspicious brown object that you discover upon your pillow when waking in the morning. How did it get there? No one will ever know. Not safe for consumption.

Hobo Jemima: That couldn't have been chocolate.
Hobo Cletus: Why not?
Hobo Jemima: It was too stanky.
Hobo Cletus: You're right... it must have been bed chocolate! Wait, I don't even have a bed!

bed chocolate

Residual excretion in, on, or around one's mattress, which is later mistaken for crumbs of chocolate.

Willard: Bernadine shat on my dick last Thursday evening while we were sleeping.
Hobo 1: Well, that's unfortunate...
Willard : The worst part is that I thought the bed chocolate is was a piece of the candy bar that I was eating yesterday afternoon for elevenses.

Hobo 2: STANKY!