Before and After

Taking a dump so large, you wish you weighed yourself 'before and after'

"Dude, where've you been, what's that smell?"

"In the bathroom, just took a before and after. I knew I shouldn't have had that 3rd burrito."
"Gross!"

13👍 7👎

Was that before or after you raped him?

Used when one does not know how to respond to a really lame story or long drawn out explanation.

Guy A: "I took my dog for a walk today"
Guy B: "Was that before or after you raped him?"

Person 1: "Dennis and I went to blah blah blah. It was so rad, yo "
Person 2: "Was that before or after you raped him?"

22👍 2👎

I before E except after C

Something like the Teletubbies, as it was created by someone high on pot at the time. It barely even works. In terms of the words that have those kinds of letters, most of them break the rule, so it is pointless. Teams have lost the Spelling Bee just because they trusted the devil of spelling, I before E except after C. Even English teachers think that this is a shitty technique.

Teacher: I before E except after C.
Me: That's useless, there are so many exceptions.
Teacher: Detention.

i before e except after c except when

I before e except after c except when your foreign neighbor Keith received eight counterfeit beige sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters. Weird.

I before e except after c except when... this is what they taught you in the third grade math instead of how to pay taxes or something.

10👍 1👎

I before E except after C

Some shitty propaganda made by satan and his minions.
Words that were made by chads who aren't having any of this shit:

Weird
Foreign
Neighbor
Leisure
Eight
Either
Height
Receipt

wait wtf is a receipt?

I before E except after CI before E except after CI before E except after CI before E except after CI before E except after CI before E except after CI before E except after CI before E except after C FUCK YOU AND SHUT UP

"before and after" photos

The total bu**s**t "comparison of status/condition" images that supposedly show how much someone/something has been improved by your advertised products/services/philosophies. Often the "after" photos will have been re-touched to make the "result" look far better than it actually was, or the two sets of photos have merely been "switched" --- i.e., the "before" photos are actually of the deplorable/decrepit way that the person/object **presently looks**, and the "after" photos show how the person/object looked BEFORE you started messing around with your precious quackola "treatments" or "improvements"... in other words, the situation is EVEN WORSE OFF NOW THAT YOU'VE PRACTICED YOUR ADVERTISED TREATMENT, NOT BETTER!!!

This advertisement's "before and after" photos of people who were supposedly helped immensely by this fad diet certainly do look impressive at first glance, but I can't help observing that many of the people look noticeably **older** in the "before" photos... interesting...

Before or after?

Before or after refers to before or after the wipe, after you took a shit. It is said before one is about to eat ass.

"Bro, you ate her ass? Was it before or after?"