bilgescribe

One whose novelistic aspirations blind him/her to his/her inability to spell words, write sentences, describe things, create plots and organize material; one who proudly brings forth a stillborn work.

Jenny: John! There's text on your screen! What happened?
John: Uh, yeah, it's a novel by me fwiend Dacy. He's a f@ck#ng writer, he is.
Jenny: A writer?! (Glances at screen.) Hmm, I think the polite word for Dacy is a bilgescribe.