Blue Bollocks

A game played by teenagers (typically aged between 13-17) or elderly gentlemen (typical aged between 71-94) in which participants would suffer severe pain-resultant impact to the testicles (nuts, balls, kohoneys or bollocks) and the penis (cock, savage schlong, dick or slender shaft). One would usually get hit as a forfeit or as a punishment for sexually assaulting somebody.

Blue bollocks was a common torture method in the Middle Ages, in American prisons in the 1980s and is still used in British police stations to this day when asking young boys “where they got the knife from”.

It is usually carried out with a baseball bat to the balls or a paintball gun to the same area. It can also be carried out with the flat side of a sword to flatten the testicles.

Man: Did you see my wang?
Wife: Yes. It seems someone attended to it. Sexually.
Man: I did nothing of the kind. I was playing a game of blue bollocks with the lads.
Wife: You were my arse. Get out of the house