bowel trowel

The phallus of a gentleman who is 'good with colours'.

"Christ I'm in pain here!"
"What is it Elton, are your piles playing up again?"
"No David it's me bowel trowel it's chaffed to buggery on me sequin kegs, get the vaseline would you."
Elton John's infamous backstage comments to life partner David Furnish, that were only transmitted, by some cruel trick of fate, on Iranian TV causing mass burings of his Lion King soundtrack and the slaughter of Tehran Zoo's pride of lions.
Oddly sequin imports to Iran increased by 1000% that year.

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