Brown Wizard

A wicked man of ancient folk-lore believed to pray victim to those who squatted over a chamber pot for more than 5 minutes. The legend of the Brown Wizard is both fascinating and startling in the way of his practices. Once he finds the unsuspecting crowcher, he then extends his hand into a space-shit-time continuum, reaching out from the chamber pot and relieving men's souls thru the anal cavity.

I’d like to spend more time in the bathroom, but I can feel the Brown Wizard has his gaze focusing on my Eye of Sauron...