callum bowden smith

callum bowden smith, also known as callum bargainman or callum luvsa-barg, is young lad who gets off on eating two burgers and chips and ketchup in a 8:2 ratio. he is partial to temu skincare (loves a good bargain) and kayaking. he can be a bit gammy but that just adds to his charm. his hair is a clod and his big toe is unfathomably hairy. he’s prone to being a bit moody. you can often find callum in the naughty corner being hounded by older, and, quite frankly, grim, old men.

“omg!! isn’t that callum bowden smith??”
“yeah.. don’t fart next to him. he’ll have a right paddy.