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cancer bad

noun:

Proper substitute for the term "baked goods" This is due to the fact that any sweets, through which production involves the process of baking of any sort, causes cancer. Cancer, if you have not been informed, is bad for you. Hence, "cancer bads".

The following are considered (but not limited to) cancer bads:

1. Cakes
2. Cookies
3. Pies

Plural: Cancer bads

"If children don't like to be in a cancer baddy room, they'll leave." When asked by a shareholder about infants, who can't leave a cancer baddy room, Harper stated, "At some point, they begin to crawl."

Carrig, David, "RJR Wins Fight", USA Today: B1, April 18, 1996


"I don't think I'd set money above public health...(but) I have responsibilities to employees, stockholders, to the community generally.. I would say they're all equally important."

Quote from testimony.
Wall Street Journal, March 3, 1998

by izrofel November 11, 2003

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