The girl’s bathroom is usually inaccessible due to the vast amount of whores crowded in there taking pregnancy tests. It’s hard to fathom how all these balls ugly girls got knocked up, especially since every guy who attends Cape High is a raging homosexual. It is not rare to walk down the hall and see multiple gay orgies taking place.
When it comes to sports and extracurriculars, the Cape guys excel at taking balls fast and hard to the face. Cape High isn’t all bad though. For example their band is number one when it comes to playing the African skin flute. Quite an accomplishment for the dim-witted inbreds who attend this school.
The trick among guys at Cape High to “getting big fast” is to wear tight shirts. These shirts are usually pink and from Hollister and they most certainly do not make them look buff. They look like a bunch of fat cocks that are too stupid to purchase a top which fits correctly. It’s probably a good thing they are too fucking stupid to think of using steroids as a means to get big. They already have infant sized testicles and can not afford for them to become any smaller.
Guy: "Look at those faggots eiffel towering.."
Girl: "yeah they must go to cape coral high school."
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Saw the other definition for this mediocre school is 11 years out of date so figured I would give the current situation. Of course right now the broccoli hair that makes you look like a total douche paint sniffer and vaping like there's no god damn tomorrow is oh so popular. The teachers are generally pretty cool but some a bit bitchy, classes tend to be chill and same for classmates except the occasional freshmen stuck in his class clown phase who thinks being loud and racist is funny and freshmen girls who think they are really hot and try to pull juniors. Bathrooms are the usual, warzone like Russia vs Ukraine and doors that were stolen like 10 years ago and never replaced, flushing is an unknown action, wet toilet paper on the ceiling, piss puddles, you know the drill. Only real annoyance is the freshmen and seniors who think moaning and slurs in the cafeteria is hilarious (see freshmen mention). There's a decent amount of chill people though such as band and sport players which aren't jocky like it's the 80's as some others in some schools tend to be and some dude named Daniel from Germany that sells baller chocolate which I have easily bought by the hundreds by now. Although it is kind of a relief from the drug den schools like Island Coast and North Fort Myers, its mediocrity makes it pretty uneventful and not much crazy shit happens like you might hear elsewhere. If you just want to chill and get through high school generally easy, come fuck around I guess.
Guy 1: "I go to Cape Coral High School!"
Guy 2: "Get raided by cops yet?"
Guy 1: "Surprisingly not, but there is tiktok."
Guy 2: "God help you."
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