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(1) Chief Executive Officer
(2) The Big Cheese
(3) The person in charge of a company who has no other qualifications but thinks he or she does.
(4) See also: asshole, idiot, pain in the ass, obstacle, bottleneck, waste, or worthless.
The CEO just took away all of our 401K funds!
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Can't Eat Out.
Can't Even Operate.
Career Ending Opportunity.
Caribbean Elephants Organization.
Catch Every Obstacle.
Catholic Education Office.
Caustic Ego Online.
Central Economics Office.
Central Elite Operations.
Ceremonial Events Officer.
Certified Egoistic Organizer.
Championship Event Organizer.
Cheap Entertaining Opponent.
Cheese Eating Official.
Chief Eating Officer.
Chief Elf of Operations.
Chief Embezzling Offender.
Chief Emotional Officer.
Chief Ethics Officer.
Chief Evangelist Officer.
Chief Evangelistic Officer.
Chief Excessive Officer
Chief Execution Order.
Chief Executioner Omnipotent.
Chief Executive Officer.
Chiropractic Elite Organization.
Christmas and Easter Only.
Citrus Entity Overlord.
Clown Executive Officer.
Cock Eyed Optimist.
Collegiate Entrepreneurs' Organization.
Company Entertainer Octopus.
Competitive Edge Opportunities.
Comprehensive Electronic Office.
Computer Energy Organizer.
Conscientiously Energetic Overacting.
Constantly Evaluating Others.
Controlling Every Objective.
Cool English Only.
Corporate Europe Observatory.
Corrupt Executive Officer.
Costs Evened Out.
Covert Elite Operations.
Cranky Eccentric Oldster.
Cranky Evil Ogre.
Creating Excellent Organizations.
Creating Exceptional Opportunities.
Creating Extraordinary Outcomes.
Customer Employee Organization.
Cutting Everything Out.
A CEO (and member of Forbes 400!) throwing a party takes his executives on a tour of his opulent mansion. In the back of the property, the CEO has the largest swimming pool any of them has ever seen. The huge pool, however, is filled with hungry alligators. The CEO says to his executives “I think an executive should be measured by courage. Courage is what made me CEO. So this is my challenge to each of you: if anyone has enough courage to dive into the pool, swim through those alligators, and make it to the other side, I will give that person anything they desire. My job, my money, my house, anything!”
Everyone laughs at the outrageous offer and proceeds to follow the CEO on the tour of the estate. Suddenly, they hear a loud splash. Everyone turns around and sees the CFO (Chief Financial Officer) in the pool, swimming for his life. He dodges the alligators left and right and makes it to the edge of the pool with seconds to spare. He pulls himself out just as a huge alligator snaps at his shoes. The flabbergasted CEO approaches the CFO and says, “You are amazing. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. You are brave beyond measure and anything I own is yours. Tell me what I can do for you.”
The CFO, panting for breath, looks up and says, “You can tell me who the hell pushed me in the pool!!”
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A guy that earns an average 411 times more than his average blue-collar employee.
Bill Gates is the CEO of Microsoft.
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CEO --> C.ash E.quals O.rgasm. The CEO of the corporation likes money. Likey likey money. Makey lotta money.
The CEO hired an 'efficiency expert' who determined that me and my 99 closest coworkers should be outsourced to save the company some money each year. I think he is more motivated by money than responsibility to his employees welfare.
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Admit it. We all feel a touch of awe when someone has it: the CEO title. The power, the salary, and the chance to Be The Boss. It’s worthy of awe!
Too bad so few CEOs are good at what they do. In fact, only 1 in 20 are in the top 5%1. Many don’t know what their job should be, and few of those can pull it off well. The job is simple—very simple. But it’s not easy at all. What is a CEO's job?
More than with any other job, the responsibilities of a CEO diverge from the duties and the measurement.
A CEO’s responsibilities: everything, especially in a startup. The CEO is responsible for the success or failure of the company. Operations, marketing, strategy, financing, creation of company culture, human resources, hiring, firing, compliance with safety regulations, sales, PR, etc.—it all falls on the CEO’s shoulders..
The CEO’s duties are what she actually does, the responsibilies she doesn’t delegate. Some things can’t be delegated. Creating culture, building the senior management team, financing road shows, and, indeed, the delegation itself can be done only by the CEO.
Many start-up CEOs think fund-raising is their most important duty. I disagree. Fund-raising is necessary, but the CEOs contribution is in building a superb business with the money raised.
Kelly~gean: Life In Motion Co. CEO sounds good to me. Think I'll make it? I'm worried about the copy write infringement of the name. I could always change it To Life in Ocean Motion:)!
It's like being right in Skynards "Hell House," to success.
Mom: You can do anything you set you mind to and stubborn enough to make it happen. It's not what people fight for it's what they live for.
Kelly~gean: ILU woman!
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Coverup Everything Officer
CEO : this is the Coverup Everything Officer speaking. Please bury the investigation report. The Freedom of Information request is refused.
FOI officer : the freedom of information request is refused. It will take us so many hours to stick paper in a photocopier and black out some words. It doesn't matter that you offered to pay for our time to take an already collated investigation file and copy it. It is a big job to photocopy shit we don't want you to see.
HR : not a problem.
Lawyer: no problem. We will continue to refuse access to the investigation report. After all access has been refused for a year and a half now.
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