certified gooner

a certified gooner is someone that is open about their addiction to gooning and prolbably has a 30 hour streak of gooning to pornography on the weekend. this person is so down bad for the hub that they even watch it in school, at home, in the car, and more. this person will stay a virgin forever if they do not quit their gooning soon, before it is too late.

Gooner: dude I just stayed up all day over the weekend watching some Angela white and jonny sins going at it
random civil person: 'dials 911' there is a certified gooner on the streets terrorizing the public send help

certified gooner

a person who goons all the time. by all the time I mean all the time. I mean they have a 34 hour gooning streak over the weekend, and they wonder why they are tired all the time. they goon in school, in work (if they manage to get a job) they goon at home most often and they even goon at family gatherings.

dog, i managed to goon for 78 hours a couple days ago
so that's why you weren't at school you certified gooner, and stop looking at my tits loser
But why? I am the epiphony of rizz
i will let you think that
wanna be my sex toy?
*dials 911