choking the smurf

to engage in 'self-satisfaction' when unable to get laid. A twinkie juicer will generally choke their smurf. A Tuna Wrangler will hardly ever have to choke their smurf since they are more than able to get a woman.

Ted: Oh yea, oh my gosh, yes YES!!!
Ted's mom (to Ted's dad): what is he doing?!
Ted's dad: damnit, TED!! You should be doing your homework not choking the smurf! Besides, you're too loud!

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choke the smurf

slang for masturbation, or wanking if you're normal (english)

Hmmm, I am bored. I think i'll choke the smurf

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