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A city of around 400,000 people who jump into doorways and under tables on a regular basis. Toilets are often holes in the ground, and portable toilets are present on many streets. Sometimes one can see crap swimming down rivers to the sea. This is because so many of its residents shit themselves every time there is another earthquake. There is no central city any more - it all fell down. Brick chimneys and unreinforced brick walls are to be avoided. So are tall buildings, hills and cliff faces. February 22 2011 was the shakiest day yet.
Christchurch: The City that Rocks
Christchurch: It's Munted
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A city in New Zealand that experiences many earthquakes.
Dude 1: Hey you wanna go to Christchurch?
Dude 2: Nah, there will probably be an earthquake.
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Christchurch is a term that is exclaimed when someone finds themselves in a situation where the shouting of Christ or Jesus Christ would generally be warranted. The term is said to have been created in southern Ontario (Canada) when a young chap hurt himself in the presence of devout churchgoers and wanted to yell Christ. As it is blasphemous to use the Lord's name in vain, the inventor - who was well read in Oceanic geography - quickly added church to the end of his exclamation.
Note: If you hear someone use Christchurch in this context, it is customary that you reply by stating Auckland - or more rarely, Wellington.
John: (Stand up in a low ceiling basement and hit his head) 'A christchurch!'
Peter: Auckland!
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A town on the English south coast not to be mistaken for Christchurch New Zealand, it's main attraction is the sewage works that make the whole area smell like your grandad. It has the largest number of old people in the UK meaning there is no lack of war stories but a massive demand for adult diapers. Popular sports there is bingo, holding up traffic and getting to the shop without having a fall. The council decided it was cheaper to use Hurst's instead of busses because it saves on petrol. Instead if road signs they use grave stones because the cemetery ran out of space.
Hey Doris let's go to Christchurch for our holiday
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The largest city in the South Island of New Zealand, once used rather frequently by housewives and grandmothers as a mild expletive being roughly equivalent to gosh or darn.
While definitely not averse to using such words as fuck and cunt, modern New Zealanders take great delight in reliving the stultifying drudgery of the 1950s and will often be heard to utter (at least ironically) the phrase "Oh, Christchurch!", especially when tripping up, falling over, climaxing, etc.
Sarah: I enjoy wanking you.
Mike: Oh, Christchurch! You've snapped my banjostring!
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where you got to worship Jesus
Since you like Jesus, I'll probably see you at Christchurch.
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A very red and round haemorrhoid caused by excessive weight lifting in the gym. Particularly a problem for men not making any gains, and those that skip leg day. Regionally significant to Christchurch, New Zealand, where there is not much else to do but go to the gym if you're a single male.
Particularly sought after prize of the local gay community who hold Christchurch cherry popping events every spring when the city's famous cherry trees are in full bloom.
Q- Do you even lift bro?
A- Hard out bro. I've got the Christchurch cherry to prove it.
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