churn rate

1. The rate at which new employees vacate a given job or company, based on dissatisfaction with bad work conditions.

2. The rate at which a person's previous meal vacates his or her stomach, based on the intensity of their vomitting.

3. The rate at which a man's semen vacates his testicles, prostate, and Cowper's glands, based on the intensity of masturbation.

All: Yale's MBA program postulates the "Churn Rate Paradigm" as:

Client's churn rate = k(worker's stomach churn rate) = k(new worker's churn rate)

The intervariable relation is proportional and geometric.

1. The new-employee churn rate at my previous job was really high.

2. The work itself was nauseating. I would vomit at least twice a day. On high traffic days, employee stomach churn rate was even higher.

3. It was a mopping job at a sperm bank/peep show/gay brothel (delete as appropriate). For some reason, I always ended up with the highest clientele churn rate. I hated that job. I'm going back to Taco Bell.

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churn rate

The rate at which customers / subscribers / sumbitters stop using a product or service divided by the average number of customers / subscribers / submitters. Useful for determining growth trends versus customer satisfaction.

AOL's high churn rate indicates a low level of customer satisfaction.

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churn rate

How often a particular job gets turned over, time and time again.

The churn rate on that mcjob is high. gee...nobody wants that job!

Churn rate

Churn is the percentage of total subscribers that discontinue
service divided into the total population. Usually it is
expressed as a percent based on the population change from month
to month.

An average monthly churn rate for wireless phones is
around 5%.

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