Close of Play

Increasingly common on business bullshit bingo cards the English-speaking world over, 'close of play' is the latest way to say '5.30', presumably employed by people a) to make the working day seem more fun, by describing it as 'play' b) because they are cunts.

Presumably, like the equally execrable 'touch base', the expression originated in a shit American sport.

So where are we gonna be by close of play?

We're not playing. I'm working. You're talking like a prick.

Ok, I need to touch base with the client before close of play.

Oh right.

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Close of Play

A term used by people in business. Maximum impact is gained by saying it whilst sitting on the edge of a desk with the top button undone and tie hanging loosely.

L: Are we closer to agreeing a deal? Ideally I'd like to start picking that low hanging fruit by close of play today. Otherwise I'll end up looking like a cunt.
J: You are already a cunt.
L: Feedback taken on board J. Let's touch base about this next week. Do you have a window on Tuesday?
J: I have a window every day of the fucking week. My office has two of them.

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